Lost

Hey God,
I am entirely lost and just feeling like I’m kind of at a dead end. It felt like we were really supposed to pursue the house, and maybe we still are, but it seems like there’s just all these road blocks (or maybe I’m just not relying on you the way I should be). Am I questioning your sufficiency in this? Am I not trusting in Your Sovereignty for our provision? Did you really even make a way for us to get the house? There’s just so much right now that I’m questioning and wanting to have answers. And I’m tired… and I’m shaky from no food. How much of this is just me needing to let go and let you lead all of this? Lord, what do I need to do?
“Read my word”
Mark 11:22-26
“‘Have faith in God,’ Jesus answered. ‘I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, “Go throw yourself into the sea,” and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.'”

Lord, do I just need to believe for the house? Do I just need to be patient and wait for your provision? Is it even wise for us to enter into a mortgage that we’re unsure we can afford? But it feels so much like you’ve destined us for this house. It feels like you’ve set things up so that we can purchase it.

God, if you’re willing, and if it’s your plan, I ask for this house. I ask for your favor and your provision. I ask that the current bids on the house would fall through and we would be left with the opportunity to purchase it at a lower price. Lord, I know that you have the power to move mountains, to tell a fig tree that it is cursed, and to heal a blind man and give him sight. I know that you are the Alpha and Omega, that from the beginning of time you were. And that you destined Brandon and I for such a time as this. You prepared our hearts and placed us in this house to make it a place of ministry. Lord, I pray that even though we would live here, that it wouldn’t be our house, that it would be a house of prayer and a home for people who need a place to stay. God I ask for the opportunity to make this house a home and to consecrate it to your work. We have already been able to make this place a place of safety and security and a refuge for people who need time with you. That is what we want this house for. We do want a roof and a place to raise our family, Lord, but so much more than that we want a place to raise your family. I know that you have plans for us, and we don’t know them, but if this house is your plan for us, God I pray that you would part the waters now for this house, that we would be able to have it and consecrate it to you.

Lord, I ask in faith, and I trust you. I know that if this house is not your plan you will provide something greater. I know that you love to give good gifts to your children, and you put yearnings in our hearts for a purpose. I can’t help but feel like this longing and yearning was placed here by you. Lord, I’m begging for your favor and your grace to help us get this house. Make a way for us Lord. But help me to let go and trust you. And God help me to just watch you move. Lord, I love seeing you orchestrate things and place things in line for your children. Help me to just stand back and be astonished by who you are and what you do for your children. Lord you are gracious and compassionate and so giving, help me to trust in your provision and not to go back when I feel like you’ve said go forward.

Jesus, I just ask that you would continue to give us favor with Brandon’s parents. I ask that by a miracle they would be able to help us out with a down payment and that it wouldn’t put them in a tight spot at all. Lord, I ask that you would make all of this a testimony to your grace and your sufficiency, not at all to any of us. Lord, you are “able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to [your] power that is at work within us, to [you] be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.” (Eph 3:20-21)

Jesus, set my heart on you, and let me rest knowing that you are all I need!

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